Not all mothers are the same.
We all bring our own unique flavour to this game we’re privileged to play, all wonder women in our own field, but my soul speaks specifically to the hungry ones with an eye for potential and a fascination for transformation. I’m for the mothers who love to go deep and love to aim high, because I am one.
And let me say, it’s not easy being a mother who wants more.
A woman on this path continues to sit in the seat of her upbringing, learning from her inner daughter’s mind, reparents herself on the daily and is forever meeting new generational obstacles that make her question her safety, her worth, her beliefs. She is forced to choose and choose again, decide to rise when everything and everyone would rather keep her down. But with this real-world, hands-dirty, tear stained eyes and cracked open heart kind of life experience, she knows she’s doing what she came here for. Somatically experiencing what it means to grow, transform, release, refuse and reclaim all that is here for her.
And I strongly believe that I live this way, because when I was a child, my own mother had the courage to reclaim what was truly hers and this possibility and power was forever imprinted on my daring, outspoken heart. It’s something I feel really fucking honoured to have witnessed. A woman disempowered, moving into choice and freedom despite what her children (me) had to say about it at the time.
I learnt not only what to do for my own empowerment, but what not to do. I learnt that if you’re going to be brave and daring, you MUST also be willing to open-heartedly communicate it all to those you love, even when you don’t know what to say. I learnt that what we’re most afraid of as mothers, will show up in our children over and over until we’re willing to face it ourselves, and if we don’t, our children are forced to become the adults they’re not ready to be and this causes more suffering than comfort. I learnt that nothing vibrates as strongly as a woman in her power, owning her needs, raising her standards, taking up space and leaning into all of her extremes. Wholeness is a beautiful thing to watch, both as a mother and a daughter.
And I believe this is all what led me to my own relentless pursuit of more for myself…
Travelling around the world with no other intention but to simply explore, letting love die when it was fed with conditions, cutting off people who couldn’t accept all of me, hopping between careers in search of a container for my fullest expression, refusing to be silenced when egos needed to moved out of the way, risking every last penny and everyone’s judgement on living how I want to live and raising a family the way I want to raise one.
I HAVE NEVER BEFORE FACED AS MANY OBSTACLES TO MY RAVISHING HUNGER FOR EXPANSION AND FULFILMENT AS I DID WHEN I BECAME A MOTHER.
What once worked for me was no longer enough to climb this new threshold. I had to up my game in diving deeper into my ancestry, my lineage, my daughter wounds, my maternal relationships, my generational patterning, my relationship with a societal label that came attached to more misaligned stories than I could count.
I had to honour my strengths of daring to ‘go there’ and dive deep into myself, so I could meet my soul’s calling to rise higher; above the mother mould we’re given, above the unspoken expectations and standards, above what even I considered ‘safe’ and ‘allowed’ as a woman and a mother.
I had to create my own personalised identity where the daughter, woman and mother in me came together, sat around the red table and crafted the life I was here to live. And I’ve been sitting here chipping away at it ever since. It’s the most deeply fulfilling work I’ve ever done, and using my coaching background to support fellow strong, sensitive and striving mothers to do the same is a close second.
For me, ‘mother’ is no longer a label that I waste energy resisting. She is no longer an identity constantly being sucked of life, drained of her essence, forever available and activated for only the nourishment of others. Now, to me, she is the world’s greatest advocate of unconditional love, a mirror of mother nature herself, abundant in her glow, one to stop and stare at in awe, as you witness pure radiance in human form. She is LIFE after all. She is a daughter of the universe, belonging to no-one but the calling on her heart, and she is powered by a woman of so many shades of technicolour, that when she uses her potent powers and curated focus to illuminate a part of her life, it fucking shines. And that right there is her legacy, her greatest gift to her children.
Or at least that’s mine.
And I have a feeling it might be yours too.
So yeh, it’s pretty obvious now to see why this work is pretty much my lifeblood.
I CAN’T NOT DO WHAT I DO.
Its my greatest joy and my highest purpose; to make sure all mothers not only act on the fire in the bellies, but do it in a way that nurtures both the child in them and the child watching with keen eyes. Because HOW we do it, matters just as much as what we do.
Because when you hang out with me, you’ve got to be prepared to GO THERE.
And quite frankly, not all mums are (or all women for that fact). And that’s totally fine. But ultimately, they’re not my people.
I know who I’m here for, and I’m committed to that.
So much of what I do requires a willingness that requires a few years of self-connection to muster.
You’ve got to be aware of yourself first; have a relationship with the heart that’s holding you up before I can help you go deeper and aim higher. There are some phenomenal coaches out there who work with mums who are beginning their journey in getting to know themselves and come home to their truth; if that’s you, yell out and I’ll point you in their direction.
But the women who work with me are looking for someone to help them revolutionise and remaster the intention that’s already blazing under their skin. They come to me with the awareness and drive, and I meet them with the subtle yet powerful feedback, connection and clarity that every growing, striving and seeking mother craves to carve their next steps using their own two feet.
I was a dancer and a performer as a child, the classic ‘triple threat’ - singer, dancer, actor - and it was everything to me. It went from being my genuine passion, talent and greatest love to more of an escape after my parent’s divorce, and by the age of 17, I had let it go completely. Body image issues that were a result of emotional eating and coping mechanisms, alongside the enmeshment that was wrapped around my teenage years meant that childlike freedom of expression felt a lot harder to connect to and so I let it die. I’m working on living from that place again everyday, and I’ve promised myself I will forever nurture that in my children. It’s been challenging but so so rewarding.
My partner Shane and I often consider ourselves living on the edge of inspiring and down-right risky. We’ve been together for 8 years and within that time - we met overseas whilst both living in Canada, we’ve done long distance, backpacked the world, lived on all ends of Australia, both left our safe corporate careers to pour beers and study our passions in rather unpredictable industries, decided we had so much extra love to give that we begun our family, and we’ve been doing it all our own unconventional way ever since. We often question our path just like everyone does, but we know deep down how miserable we’d be with any other alternative, so we’ll continue this dance in the dark knowing that every single day we’re strengthening the light we bring forward.
During childbirth, I recall passing out (likely from the gas) and having an out of body experience. Feeling the full force of a rapid, unexpected and painful birth, I found myself looking for an escape, only to be met with a voice offering me one through the sheer white light in front of me. “Tara, do you want to stay, or do you want to go?” I’m proud to say without hesitation that I chose to stay, and on waking back up to the final few pushes, I knew in my heart at that very moment that I had just consciously chosen to be here, living and participating as a human being on this planet. I’ll never forget that decision and the innate knowing of my power that prompted me to choose staying so quickly. I believe we all have chosen to be here and this was just another reminder to me of how quickly we would all choose it again, regardless of what life throws at us. At our core, we’re all so willing to do whatever it takes to live this life.
My son, Arlo Bear, is the child I never thought I was worthy of. I was so convinced I was having a girl that at our 20 week scan I was in complete shock when they said it was a boy, and I spent the next three days in hibernation, grieving and reflection. I knew in that moment that the daughter I was so excited to raise was actually the one inside of me, and that the privilege of living in a family as the only woman was the most precious gift that would allow me to step even more into the feminine goddess I am. It was a moment of stepping up into an identity that I again didn’t feel worthy of, but taught me that we’re never given a desire we’re not worthy of, even the unconscious ones.
I currently live in Perth, Australia where we moved for Shane to complete his Honours degree in Marine Science in 2018 (He’s a whale guy). Nothing like moving to the world’s most isolated city, six months pregnant, with a stay at home job and no close family to help you challenge your beliefs around home, friendships, community and the village we all need to help raise our families. It’s been a deep experience of so much learning, and it feels refreshing to move into 2019 with a deeper understanding of what we all have permission to need, ask for and create as women and mothers.
Here’s doing it all together, deeply.