“As the deep feeling, self healing and honest one of her family and circles, she’s always been the one willing to go there, take the leap and trust her gut, when no one else will.”
The women I hold…
The women I hold are the strong ones; autonomous, independent and self-reliant.
The woman who is no stranger to being the lone wolf and has for a long time taken on the responsibility of her own legacy.
She committed some time ago to never repeating the wounds of her maternal lineage, and her sensitive spirit and underlying self perception of being misunderstood means she is extremely intimate with who she allows into her life, especially her birth space.
It is likely she would never even have considered having a stranger present at such a deeply sacred time, that is unless she felt truly heard and seen by someone like me.
As the deep feeling, self healing and honest one of her family and circles, she’s always been the one willing to go there, take the leap and trust her gut, when no one else will.
But that means doing it alone a lot of the time, and whether she knows it yet or not, motherhood is not the time to be doing it alone.
Her self-reliance is both her superpower and source of pain, and she is kept up at night with fears of losing herself in motherhood and the transition that awaits her.
“She’s never truly felt safe enough to lean on and depend on someone, emotionally and energetically..
(especially another woman)
.. someone who can hold both her power and her wounds, her strength and her vulnerability.”
She's not sure how she is going to now become the carer for another child, whilst also being the only one she can trust to care for her and her other dreams and responsibilities.
The heaviness of it all is very familiar to her.
She loves to be in control, and has no patience for people who are not willing to meet her at her depths.
She fears not being able to control the experience or be her usual strong self in the vulnerability of birth, and all the ways she will get coerced and railroaded in those moments without someone to stand for her and speak for her, someone that she trusts who truly understands her and what matters most to her.
“She's a fighter and always has been, but she needs someone to fight the outside fight as she would do, whilst she focuses on fighting the inner fight.”
She fears losing her identity..
the one she's fought so hard to build from the wreckage of her wounds.
She is determined to not conform to the version of motherhood she sees modelled by friends and family. She is committed to writing her own story.
She is desperate to stay inspired and connected to her goals, as she fears feeling trapped and isolated by motherhood, knowing full well how much work she still has to do in uncaging herself when it comes to her true embodiment as a woman.
Her A type personality and masculine energy has meant many years suppressing any pleasure, play and forgoing many opportunities to celebrate herself and her own unique story.
She knows that becoming a mother is an experience unlike the rest, one that matters more than anything, a chance to rewrite the story of her family, and one she can't apply outdated fears and beliefs to.
She's not willing to let her stories get in the way of this experience.